The producers decided to bring five new women on the show this week for literally no reason, and as expected, it all goes to sh*t. Let's dive in (I know I'm like two days late but I don't have cable I'm sorry).


Post Group Date

This episode starts of with the aftermath of a group date, and I'm not sure why because I thought we had already finished the group date, but whatever.

Victoria continues to talk crap about Sarah even though she already sent herself home, and Katie calls her out for being a terrible person. Victoria responds by saying that she feels shut down by Katie and that she should be allowed to "express herself" though bullying. Lord, help us.

While that's going on, Chelsea builds a nice connection with Matt and she gets the rose.

Cocktail Party

Victoria pulls Matt aside when she is interrupted by Chris Harrison himself, who has decided to let all hell break lose by bringing new women into the house.

The five new contenders walk in, and one of them is also wearing a crown and calling herself the Queen. I cannot. Victoria responds to this by physically taking the crown off of her head and wearing it.

Katie explains to the new girls that there's only tension because they already have deep connections with Matt. The passive aggression is real.

Rose Ceremony

Matt decides to fuel the flames of 18 angry women by giving roses to four of the new contenders. Khaylah, Kaili (aka the girl who showed up in her underwear), and new girl Kim go home.

Group Date #1 - Fall in Love Fest

New girl Ryan starts off by saying how excited she is for this date, and the other women respond with enraged silence. Know your place, girl.

This week, the women are going on a fall-themed obstacle course that has them rowing in giant pumpkins and scouring for acorns in squirrel costumes.

The original women start banding together and referring to themselves as the "OG's" and I feel like this is how cults start.

At the end of the date, the camera pans to Magi to reveal that she is STILL STUCK IN THE LAKE IN HER FLOATING PUMPKIN. They literally just left her there like Andy in the beach games episode of The Office. I'm crying.

Post Group Date

Anna pulls Matt aside to talk to him for the first time, when she is repeatedly interrupted by new girl Brittany. Instead of handling this maturely, she responds by telling the entire house that Brittany is an escort.

Brittany's like wtf?? no I'm not?? And Anna is just like "oops, my mistake." I should've known she was bad news when she tried to hypnotize Matt with her crazy eyes.

One-on-One - Michelle

Matt continues to make things worse by giving this week's one-on-one to new girl Michelle.

They go ziplining and hot air ballooning. It would be cute, except for the fact that all the other women are watching them from the house. Why did the producers give these girls binoculars??

They get dinner at what looks like some weird vintage car show and discuss everything from George Floyd to Maya Angelou to Michelle's career as a teacher.

I like them together, and Matt clearly does too, because he tells the camera that she's better than a lot of women he's known for weeks. I can't wait to see the reactions when this clip is shown at the "Women Tell All."

She gets the rose.

Group Date #2 - Battle for the Bachelor

I don't know why everyone always acts shocked when a "just for fun" boxing match between romantic rivals turns into actual fighting. But they do.

The women start beating the crap out of each other and Matt decides to call things off because it's too "dangerous." Or maybe, just maybe, he's realizing that making people punch each other isn't a way of showing true love, but just another reality television ploy.

Post Group Date

Katie pulls Matt aside and tells him that all of the women in the house are immature and terrible. She doesn't name names, she just straight up tells Matt to do something about it.

It's awesome and she is still my favorite.

Quotes of the Night

  • "I'm Elsa and you're Anna, so let it go, b*tch."
  • "I literally couldn't find my acorn anywhere."

Matt will supposedly "confront" the women next week. Let's wish him luck, Bachelor Nation.

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