I Used To Judge Mothers Like Me- Motherhood Without Warning

"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories." ~John Wilmot

I used to judge mothers like me. I really thought that I knew how all mothers should better be handling situations with their kids and their parenting. Of course I was in my twenties, single and childless.  But I had babysitting experience and one friend with kids, so therefore I was an expert, right?  Part of it was human nature and the other part of it is ignorance.

Today I was reminded of all the ridiculous judgments I made pre-parenthood while reading this article  Apologies To The Parents I Judged Four Years Ago.  Author Kara Gebhart Uhl titled wrote some great examples of her own pre-children and post-children comparisons:

Pre-children: I was going to cloth diaper.
Post-children: I did with my daughter, sort of, but not with my twins.

Pre-children: No TV until age of 2 and then only 30 minutes a day.
Post-children: Ha.

Pre-children: Only organic, healthy, homemade food.
Post-children: My kids love Wendy's.

Pre-children: Public tantrums are unacceptable.
Post-children: Removal of the child is only sometimes doable; predicting when a tantrum is going to strike is often impossible.

"Just brush her hair!" I never realized that perhaps the reason that a little girls hair went unbrushed, until I was the Mom picking her battle that day and chasing her daughter through the house with a small Dora the Explorer brush, while the daughter screams bloody murder.

"Swimsuit, it's February?!" When your toddler wants to wear a certain clothing item it's nearly impossible to change their mind.  My daughter has recently attached to swimsuits while inside.  I know she should be all snugly warm in something winter-like, but she is so happy in her swimsuit, so I let her. Because really, what's the harm.

I could go on and on, but what I do know is now that I'm 6 months pregnant with twins and physically unable to take on some the battles I used to, I weigh them out in my head.  Does this really matter in the long run?  Will she still be a good human if I let her cut that piece of paper into 700 pieces even though I told her after the last one she was done?  What stress do I add to my own life in that moment?

My goal is to be a Mom who is a great example of patience, kindness, laughter, confidence and creativity.  So, I now have no room to judge, because I don't know what that means until I'm in that moment.  Parenting is the most individual and personal thing people do and now I get that!

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My name is Kama and I'm a Mom...and that just freaks me out sometimes. I'm a bunch of other things that used to seem really important, but somehow being a Mom blurs those other things into mush. I have a 2-1/2 year old daughter and twin boys on the way. Everyday I have a "holy s**t, I can't believe I'm a Mom" moment and those get shared here.