As Serena P. so eloquently put it, this week made me "rage-full." And no, not just because of Matt's rainbow biker shorts. Let's get started (I know I'm like two days late but I don't have cable I'm sorry).


The Return of Heather

In case you forgot, "Never Been Kissed" Heather from Colton's season, who has since been kissed, is back to win Matt's heart after her bestie Hannah B. said they would be a good match.

Matt tells Heather that he needs to think about letting her stay, and sends her off to the lion's den other girls.

Pieper is in the midst of a full mental breakdown because Heather interrupted her, and this spirals into a Victoria-like bullying circle that makes Heather cry.

Like...Chris Harrison probably made her come on the show anyway, do y'all really have to be that mad at her?

It doesn't matter anyway though, because Matt says it's too late for Heather to join the show, leaving her to drive home alone in her minivan.

Rose Ceremony

Chelsea, Serena C., and Serena C.'s robot voice are sent home.

One-on-One - Serena P. 

Instead of giving Abigail or Jessenia their first one-on-ones, he decides to give a second one to Serena P. Those poor girls have no chance.

Their second date is a tantric yoga session, and it is awkward. Serena absolutely hates it. So much so, in fact, that she physically leans away when Matt tries to kiss her, and I try not to die inside from second-hand embarrassment.

At dinner, Serena expands on her hate of yoga and says that she's just not ready to be publicly intimate with him because she likes to take things slow.

In any normal relationship, I would commend her...but girl, you have to get engaged to this man in just a few weeks. If you're still physically uncomfortable around him, that might not be a good sign.

Still, he likes her honesty and gives her the rose before taking her ice skating. Hopefully she doesn't hate that too.

Group Date

This group date has no apparent theme and jumps right into the cocktail party, where Bri pulls Matt aside to tell him that she quit her job to stay on the show.

They both act like this is a big deal, but Bri is far enough along that she's secured a future career as an Instagram influencer. She'll be fine.

Then, Abigail grabs Matt and is basically like...why haven't you taken me on a date?

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His answer is that he didn't feel the need to spend any time with her because he felt so confident in their relationship. But the problem is...when he spent all that time with the other women, he developed feelings for them instead of Abigail. Wow Matt, who woulda thunk?

After sending her home, Kit talks to Matt about how she's only 21 and still has to finish school.

Instead of taking this conversation as a sign that she's not ready for marriage, she thinks she is a shoe-in for the group date rose...which he gives to Rachel.

Kit Goes Home

Hurt by not getting the rose, Kit stops by Matt's place after the date to break up with him. Here's how their conversation goes:

Kit: I'm not really getting the feeling that you wanna marry me, so I'm out.
Matt: Yeah, good call.

You had a good run, Kit. Maybe try again in five years.

One-on-One - Jessenia

Matt takes Jessenia car racing, which is a great way to see if you're ready to marry someone. It's a cute date, but too late in the game.

Jessenia doesn't pick up on this though. She opens up to Matt at dinner, going on and on about how she's falling in love with him, while he sits there looking like he's trying to pass a kidney stone.

After letting her talk for a painfully long time, he sends her home. At least her makeup looks good.

Rose Ceremony

Matt eliminates Pieper at the rose ceremony, and she does not take it well. She literally does not say one word to him as he's walking her out, and won't even let him open her car door. Ouch.

Bri, Michelle, Rachel, and Serena P. are going to hometowns.

Quotes of the Night

  • "If she gets a rose tonight, I'll be rage-full."
  • "It's better than feeling like your entire soul was just stomped on."

See you next week at hometowns. Cheers!

Fort Collins High Schools' Notable Alumni

 

 

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