10 Things I Hope I Can Teach My Child

I can't even count how many times I've seen the acts of those younger than me, or the acts of parents setting poor examples for their children that led me to think things like, "I weep for the future."

But now I am a parent and have been graced with the responsibility of teaching a small human how to become a productive member of society.  Here are 10 things I hope I can teach my daughter.

To Think about Others' Feelings.

Empathy seems to be a lost art these days, and I want my daughter to realize that her words and actions can have an effect on other people. 'Sticks and stones' may break bones, but words and actions can cut straight through your soul. (I might have to work on this one after I have to try and explain that the entire world does not, in fact, revolve around her.)

To Know The Difference Between I Can't, I Won't, and I Don't Want To.

People make excuses all the time, but excuses generally aren't true, they're just....excuses. I want her to know that there are some things she won't be able to do. (IE: Fly by jumping off of the house. It ain't gonna happen unless Stan Lee's "X-gene" turns out to be a non-fictional find.) There are other things that she will be able to do, but shouldn't. (drugs, drinking and driving, politics...) And there will be plenty of things that she needs to do that she won't 'want' to do.

How To Be A Team Player.

I think team sports can teach a lot of lessons, so I hope she shows interest in at least one, but this goes well beyond the playing field. I want her to know that in almost every aspect of her life she is going to have to learn to interact with others. She'll have to do it in a productive way. (And hey, it is perfectly okay to think someone else is completely full of crap, without treating them like a  piece of one.)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T....Respect.

Teachers, her elders, veterans, the law, her parents, her friends, food servers, movie theatre clerks,  and pretty much everyone who is not disrespecting her, deserves respect. This kind of goes back to thinking about others' feelings. Unwarranted disrespect is more of a mark on you than it is on the person you're talking about. (It's the difference between telling someone they came up with a stupid idea, instead insinuating that they are stupid.)

To Question EVERYTHING.

I want her to question everything in the world, and never stop asking. Too many people just 'do what they're told' and believe what they see on TV or read online. I want her to know that consensus does not equal correctness. Wanting to know "why" is an important part of life. I want her to question what she believes in as much, if not more so than what she doesn't. "This world is what we make of it, truth comes from our understanding of the way things are, not from the blind adherence to prescriptions about the way things should be." (Greg Graffin's Punk Manifesto)

Remember, You're Unique, Just Like Everyone Else.

And that's a good thing. I want her to be herself and have her own ideas and I want her to celebrate her differences. But I also want her to celebrate the things she has in common with other people. (If the world were full of people who all thought alike, looked alike, and acted alike it would be a pretty boring place and we probably wouldn't have survived this long.) I want her to know that she's not special because she's different, she's not special because she fit in perfectly, she's special because she is her.

You're Going To Fail...Sometimes.

I want her to know that she will fail at things, and that's okay. It's what she does after a failure that is important. A lesson can be learned from every failure and sometimes the only way to learn something new to to do it wrong a few times. Just because you fail doesn't mean you should stop trying. Think of all the world would be missing if people quit when they failed.

Be a Geek (A.K.A. Find Your Passion).

When I grew up, being labeled a "geek" was an insult. Nowadays it is almost chic. Who knows what it will be like when my little girl gets older. But I want her to be a geek. Why? Because all being a geek is is finding a passion for something and immersing yourself in it. There are sports geeks, sci-fi geeks, food geeks, ballet geeks, movie geeks, science geeks, animal geeks, European literature geeks...find something you love and enjoy it as best you can, even if none of your friends enjoy it as much as you do.

Beauty: Not As Seen On TV.

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.There are billions of people on this earth and every single one of them has their own idea of what 'beautiful' is. I don't her to feel like she needs to look like a cover model. If she ends up looking like one, I want her to be humble about it and realize that just because someone fits the mold of what society deems "attractive" at a given moment does not make them beautiful. Shallow beauty fades with the seasons and the trends. True beauty is what a person has on the inside. The more a person believes they themselves are beautiful, the more true it becomes.

You Are Loved.

Lastly I want her to know that she is loved and always will be. No matter what trouble she gets into, or what she does that I don't necessarily 'approve' of. I'll love her and do anything I can for her. Always.