It's fantasy suite week and Matt James' favorite response to "I love you" is..."thanks." Let's dive in (I know I'm like two days late but I don't have cable I'm sorry).


Fantasy Suite - Michelle

Matt and Michelle kick off their fantasy suite date with a spa day that appears to only involve breakfast foods.

After watching them rub themselves in butter and oatmeal, we get to the real conversation, where Matt tells Michelle that he is ready for commitment.

Taking this as a good sign, Michelle reveals to Matt that she is in love with him. Not just falling in love. Big difference. Huge.

Matt's response? Thanks. And then she thanks him for saying thanks. Girl, what?! You deserve better.

But still, they blow each other kisses goodbye...which would be cute, if he wasn't going to sleep with another girl later that day.

Fantasy Suite - Bri

Matt and Bri are spending their fantasy suite date in the woods. Why are the producers always making her go outside? Don't get me wrong, camping is fun, but their girl deserves at least one fancy date.

While sitting by a fire in broad daylight, Matt gives Bri some vague speech about how he sort of likes talking to her.

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Just like Michelle, Bri finds some kind of reassurance in the bullsh*t, and she also tells Matt that she's in love with him.

He doesn't say it back, and later tells that camera that it's going to be really hard to dump someone who is in love with him. How sweet.

Fantasy Suite - Rachael

Matt tries to take Rachael to a chill ceramics class for their fantasy suite date, but she is having a hard time getting over the fact that he slept with two other women.

She tells him that he needs to figure out if he really likes her by looking into his other relationships. What kind of backwards logic is that?

Matt responds by basically saying that he has no problem pursuing multiple women but that he really likes her. Once again, it's enough for Rachael, and she drops the third "I love you" of the night.

They spend the rest of the ceramics class making out...their poor teacher.

Rose Ceremony

Matt sends Bri home and makes everything worse by giving her no real reason for his decision. I mean, it's because he likes Rachael, but he can't say that.

Still, Bri handles it like an absolute queen and heads off to begin what I'm sure will be a very lucrative career as a social media influencer.

Quotes of the Night

  • "If we wanted to go celebrate, we'd go to Chuck E. Cheese."
  • "You really liked the oatmeal. I could tell."
  • "The things that's great about ceramics is that it's like building a relationship."

Rachael and Michelle are the final two, and this thing will finally come to an end! See you next week.

Celebrity Sightings in Northern Colorado