Dumb Criminal of the Day

There are things you should probably leave at home when you show up to court. Things like your illegal drug stash, for instance. A New Jersey man showed up for his court appearance with not one, but 43 bags of heroin.

How many people make police blotters for trying to steal obscenely large amounts of feminine hygiene products? Not many, I'd guess, but a man was busted trying to steal nearly $300-worth of them in Florida.

When I think about the winner of a beauty pageant, I think of elegance, charity, and charm, not, "I bet she stole a bunch of stuff from Walmart last week." Days before an 18-year-old was elected as Miss Congeniality at a Scholarship Pageant, she was accused of doing just that.

Is that packaged poultry in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? A New Hampshire man was busted for stealing some poultry products by stuffing them in his pants.

Yet another bumbling idiot of a crook was busted because of a photo he posted to Facebook. This time a Brooklyn man posted a photo of himself holding a submachine gun that he used to rob a bank in Michigan.

A Grandmother in California ordered a pizza for her grand kids, but she said she had to take her 10-year-old grandson to the hospital because his pizza was topped with marijuana-laced mushrooms.

Today's dumb criminal story comes from a high speed car chase that had me glued to the TV all morning. A guy stole a car at a gas station in Longmont, with a 4-year-old child in it. He then proceeded to lead police on a near two-hour chase where he carjacked two other vehicles.

I know funerals and everything related to them can be expensive, but stealing your son's ashes from a funeral home doesn't seem like the best way to honor your child's legacy.

A man in Massachusetts got a little over-anxious after finding out that he'd won the lottery. So anxious, that he was pulled over for speeding, but his luck had not run out, because he was let off with a warning.

Stealing a toilet is probably not very high on anyone's priority list. Stealing a used hotel toilet even less so, but authorities in South Carolina are looking into a toilet that was stolen from a USA Economy Lodge. Gross.

Petty theft doesn't often make news headlines, but when a man steals money from Girl Scouts selling cookies it gets people a little riled up. Especially when the money he stole was to buy cookies for military personnel serving overseas.

A Walmart shopper in Florida got a little frustrated with a self-checkout kiosk (who hasn't?) and he decided to start shouting a profanity-laced rant about the machine. This didn't sit well with some other customers, a fistfight ensued, and our guy ended up losing a tooth.