5 Reasons You Should NOT Live in Fort Collins

We are constantly talking about how wonderful it is to live in Fort Collins. We get it, it's awesome but it's no wonder everyone is moving here! Come on, people, let's use our heads.

We've put together a list of reasons why you should NOT move to Fort Collins (I'm looking at you, California). Maybe this will keep people out? It's worth a shot.

1
It is a college town.
Every August, the city starts crawling with fresh-faced college kids. It's like a zombie apocalypse, but with snapback hats and a student ID lanyards (seriously, take those off your necks). If you leave your door unlocked after 9 p.m., they WILL invite themselves in.
(Fort Collins even had a 2,000-person pool party once.)
ThinkStock
ThinkStock
2
Housing is hard to find, and the rent is stupid high.
Higher than your stoner neighbor that you can smell through the wall. Oh yeah, did I mention EVERYONE smokes weed ALL THE TIME?
Wait, how does he pay his rent, does he even work?
Hemera Technologies, ThinkStock
Hemera Technologies, ThinkStock
3
The train.
Don't even get me started on that. Do you really want to live in a town that has a train that runs right through the middle of it? That's just stupid!
TSM
TSM
4
There are cyclists everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
Not only do they annoy drivers, but they're constantly flaunting their perfectly sculpted butts in those little spandex short thingies. Stop that.
Todd Harding, TSM
Todd Harding, TSM
5
That smell though.
I think this one technically belongs to our neighbors to the east, but don't think that you're safe just because you're in Fort Collins. Just wait for those winds to shift.
ThinkStock
ThinkStock
6
Ok, I have a bonus reason. Smash Mouth REALLY hates us.
We are not 'all stars.'

Filed Under: Fort Collins

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5 Reasons You Should NOT Live in Fort Collins (Yeah, I’m Sayin’ It)