National divorce rates are over 50% currently, while national marriage rates seem to be at an all-time low.

Our friends in Wyoming have held one of the highest divorce rates by state for some time, whereas Colorado... well... we aren't much better, holding the 12th position on that.

Breaking it down further, how much are we arguing?  And, is that necessarily a bad thing?  Having been in numerous relationships that went sour (or worse yet, bitter,) I can attest that 'arguing' is one thing - but that's different than screaming, name-calling, and putting the other person down, or otherwise purposefully hurting them.

I wish I could say that Colorado couples are more safe from overall arguing than the rest, but, click on the map at the top of the page and see for yourself how that looks for us currently.

The number one thing that I keep hearing splits couples apart is when one person refuses to validate where the other is coming from - basically, "I don't wanna hear about it," or throwing someone's concern back into their lap in some way and washing your hands cleanly of it.  It tells the other person you don't care, which doesn't really spell out 'love.'  It doesn't even hint at a decent friendship, which is also absolutely vital if you're going to live with someone for the rest of your life.

In case it would ever be helpful:

  • I have noticed that my marriage works because (among other reasons) we are both safe to voice things that aren't cool to us, and when we do, the goal is always resolution - not 'being right.'
  • I knew I wanted to marry Kim after I spent numerous, complete days with her and could honestly say I never got even slightly tired of being around her.  I'm pretty sure that was a first!  Just being sexually compatible and building everything else can end up in disaster.  Making sure you honestly like the person before getting emotionally attached, is super important.