Greeley-Evans Dispatch Log is Funny to Say the Least

The Police are under a lot of scrutiny these days, but do you really know all of the ridiculousness that they get called to handle on a daily basis? It is kind of humorous.

As the Greeley Tribune reported, people call 911 for the most ridiculous reasons. I have to wonder after it is all said and done, do they still feel like it was called for, or do they become the laughing stock of their friends and the town? I can't decide between man up, silly putty, or the shampoo bottle call as the best. Decide for yourself after reading these.

Sunday, Dec. 14

4:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to take a complaint from a man who said he gave a friend money to purchase an adult movie and now was refusing to pay him back.

9:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded for a report of people speeding down the street, honking horns and tearing down street signs. The suspects also vandalized the area with an unnecessary amount of Silly Putty, the caller said.

Monday, Dec. 15

3 a.m.: A Greeley man called dispatch asking police be on the lookout for a one-eyed man with a gun. The man told dispatch he didn’t think the man should be allowed to own a gun or drive.

8:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to assist a woman with her boyfriend, who was home sick and causing problems. Dispatchers could hear the man in the background crying because of a toothache and begging the woman to stay home with him. The woman asked officers to help her convince her boyfriend to man up because she had things to do.

9:15 p.m.: Dispatch received a complaint about a man in a white Chrysler sedan who was watching an adult movie and servicing himself while driving. The caller didn’t mention how she thought the man was steering the car.

Tuesday, Dec. 16

4 a.m.: Dispatch received a call from a man who thought he was being stalked by someone with high-ranking connections at the Denver Police Department. The man said the stalker tried to poison him on one occasion with the Denver police officer’s help.

Wednesday, Dec. 17

12:45 a.m.: Greeley police responded to Walmart on 23rd Avenue for a report of a man creeping out customers by saying he would pray for their damned souls.

1:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to a report of a suspicious person carrying a shampoo bottle who decided to hunker down on a resident’s front porch.

9:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to Steak ‘n Shake for a report of a 50-year-old man passed out in his car at the drive-thru window. There was an open bottle of vodka in the man’s silver Nissan Murano.

Thursday, Dec. 18

3:15 a.m.: Greeley and Evans police responded to a report of a drunk woman who was adamant about walking to Denver after a bar crawl.

Friday, Dec. 19

3:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to North Colorado Medical Center for a report of a patient who had been kicked out of the emergency room. Security officers told police the man was kicked out because he was drunk and verbally abusive to doctors and other patients. The man didn’t deny those claims, but demanded to be allowed to return to the ER because his blood sugar was low and he was going to die.

7:30 p.m.: Dispatch took a call from a resident who wanted to file a report against his girlfriend for taking his truck. When dispatchers asked if she had his permission, the caller said, “You’re asking too many questions” and hung up.