Doctor’s Office, Fuzzy’s and Quite a Story – Northern Colorado Missed Connections

Doctor's Office - m4w - 32 (fort collins)

Tell me where you were from and what you did that embarrassed you when you came in to get my blood pressure.

Fuzzy's - w4m

I was in a black dress.

Come get it.

You left a cute note in my phone when we were drunk - w4m (House party)

We met at a house party about a week ago and got pretty drunk. I thought you were cute. You talked about seeing me at the gym sometimes. I didn't realize you put that cute note in my phone until a couple days later, but you didn't leave your phone number and I can't find you on facebook. You mentioned that you graduate in December. Hit me up, it'd be cool to meet up again. Tell me what drinking game we all played so I know it's you.

You've left me Sooper infatuated - m4w - 25 (FOCO)

You and your friend came into King Soopers around the time when my sidekick and I were midway through our bi-weekly-pasta-dinner supply run. Saw yall meandering about the store a couple times (yes, I was staring), wondering if we would end up next to one another during checkout (needless to say my buddy was doing all the shopping at this point, I was too preoccupied simulating first-encounter-scenarios in my head. I blame you).

Oh how psyched I was when the celestial bodies aligned and I ended up directly behind yall at the self-checkout!

But alas! Before I could throw any syllables your way, an opening appeared in the adjacent self-checkout block and yall made a B-line for it! It seemed as though my opportunity to interact with you had passed (or was it ever there in the first place?).

The only logical thing to do at this point was to yell across the self-checkout kiosk to you, but I was afraid that this would lead to panic and mass rioting, so for the greater good I held my tongue and watched you slip out of my life (forever?).

Why couldn't you've dropped your keys on the way out so I could've had an excuse to come talk to you? (Relevant: I don't think you need worry much about ever losing your keys, or phone, or other accessories. You should experiment and "accidentally" drop items of yours and see how quickly they get returned. I bet in a very short time you could acquire a hella lotta numbers)

You have dyed hair (Presumably at least. But if that's your natural color then I lust you and please marry me now), maroon-ish red on top of a black under-layer, which flows down a little past your shoulders. I didn't get a really close look but it appears as though you have a nose piercing or two. You look pretty tan, and you also look pretty tan (. . . get it? Or maybe I'm supposed to use a comma between "pretty" and "tan" to convey the second meaning. Grammar isn't my strong suit. . . you don't happen to be an English major do you?). You were wearing a black tank-top and really short, light-colored denim shorts. Should that last sentence be in the present tense too? I guess you could still be wearing the same clothes (which is not, by the way, contrary to the opinion of many, a bad thing).

Adjectives would fail me, so in a nutshell with simple words: you looked (probably still do) reeeally good.

Step 1: Prepare yourself for some underwhelming conversation. Step 2: lower your expectations (drastically?). Step 3: contact me, I'll be here till September.

Alternatively: continue shopping at King Soopers, they appreciate your business.

Side (but very important) note: for everyone else who is not the person described here, yall are beautiful too. Just because you aren't Keira Knightley or Ryan Gosling doesn't mean that you aren't sexy as hell. In fact, you've probably also left someone dazed and confused from gawking so hard at you in a grocery store, you just didn't realize it.